09 April 2012


Ever know the right way to do things, but are too reluctant to suck up your pride and do the right thing? If you answered yes, then it sounds like you are as stubborn as this little girl writing this blog. Sometimes; however, our pride can explode in our faces if we don't suck it up. 


It isn't easy admitting your flaws and your faults, but sometimes those things can affect other people. Not just you. Much of the time those other people are people you care deeply about. If those people love you, they will accept you for who you are, but don't expect them to turn the other cheek if you aren't even attempting to make things better. 


Admit you have a problem. Admit you aren't perfect. THEN take the steps to make it better. I guess the harsh reality of the matter is that no one can help anyone who isn't trying to help themselves. If you say, "Oh well, I am depressed.". Or, "I'm bipolar. DEAL WITH IT!" You aren't solving anything. You are; however, creating bigger problems.
The first step to solving a problem is always to admit it. YOU HAVE A PROBLEM. Only stating that fact won't solve the problem without taking the steps to truly fix it afterwards.


I have bipolar disorder. I have been diagnosed with it since I am 17 years old. I used to refuse to take medications because of bad experiences with only a few of the ones many different doctors tried for me. I also HATE  talking about my problems to people. It makes me feel low and like I am begging for sympathy. Maybe that's because people have always acted like that's what I needed when I would admit it. 

Recently I was stuck in one of the worst episodes that I have ever had. It was a mixed episode. Which means I was in a manic-depressive state. ROLLER COASTER CITY!

During this episode I did much damage with a few relationships and friendships. I did things that I wouldn't typically do, and hurt many people that I love very much. To those people, if you ever read this, I am very sorry. I cannot express how sorry I am. 

When I was at my climax is when I realized. "SHIT!!! NOT AGAIN!!!" I searched high and low for the people I knew well enough to know my situation and have helped me through before. THANK YOU!  And I even opened up to a complete stranger in hopes of having another person on my support team. 

After all their aid and guidance, I went to the Dr. that I feel most comfortable with for further direction. 

I am now on the right tract. I refuse to let this thing get the best of me. And so should you. No matter what your issue may be, you are bigger than it. Fight it! Don't let it have control! Find your own support team that can help you make the right choices to kick it to the curb! 


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